I thought that I would share with you that this morning I am in pain.
About two weeks ago I must have done something to my knee. It must have been fairly innocuous, because I don’t remember it happening. I remember that my leg was a bit sore one morning and by the next day I did not feel that I would be able to play football that night (when I say ‘play football’, think less ‘Match of the Day’ and more ‘Antiques Roadshow’, as I am 53 but still giving it a go!).
Today, I would put the pain at a constant 5 out of 10 with it going up to 8 out of 10 at certain moments. Nobody else can see this most of the time but it takes me about 15 minutes to walk to work at the moment when it usually takes about 6.
I can walk upstairs no problem. Walking downstairs is a rather sorry sight. I can’t really lift things and if something falls on the floor.. it probably has to stay there! I cannot possibly pick it up now. I am struggling to get up myself without lifting anything else.
I find myself mildly amused but generally annoyed by this; it is not the person that I am and I feel pathetic. I am not often ill or in pain.
I don’t need help.
Or, I might need help. But just for a little bit. Because I don’t want to be one of those people who needs help.
This problem is probably rooted in something historic. I was born with a problem with my legs, but it has not ever really bothered me much – just an odd twinge. But today, the historic issue of my childhood is causing me a lot of pain. I don’t know why it chose to come and visit me now but it really has made an impact.
If someone was to go for a walk with me, it would be really annoying for them. I would be very slow. I would keep stopping. I would complain a bit and probably be very grumpy at their words of advice. This is, after all, my pain. They do not share it and they do not know what causes it. Really, I wish that people would stop giving advice about the pain which they do not feel or understand.
In fact, I would probably not want someone to come for a walk with me because I don’t like people seeing me not at my best. But I would quite like the company too, and I might not manage to climb over that gate on my own. On reflection. I might like the company. I can’t decide.
When I am limping along, do I want someone to offer to help?
I think that I would rather them offer – even if I can manage.
I would like my friends to notice that I might need some help. Even if I say ‘no’. I can ask them for help when I do need it, perhaps.
Then, on the walk to work at Exeter Foodbank today, the reality of this just dawned on me. You must forgive me. I am a little slow at times and it takes moments like this for a revelation to hit home. But I am learning a lesson through this.
This is what we see at Exeter Foodbank.
Every.
Single.
Day.
In Exeter today, hundreds of people are struggling along. Perhaps it is thousands of people.
Let’s be kind. You can never tell when someone is struggling along. The world can be an unforgiving place.
Mark
(The one who is limping)
Exeter Foodbank.
